Desert Tale
Number 3, Volume 7
Cultural Decline
All the normal rules of society don’t seem to apply any more degenerating into a cultural decline especially through social media. People feel comfortable saying things through social media that they would not dare say facing a person for fear of getting a punch in the nose.
Robocalls, aggressive telemarketing and spam are so ubiquitous that we have all become accustomed to their rudeness, but this does not mean to say we have to accept it. The argument here is not about freedom of speech, it is about the type of venom that showcases a person’s anger, hostility, jealousy and fear that denote the hatred in the world today promulgated by globalization and instant communications.
If we are to build an international foundation of stable relations there needs to be a common ground of civility. The neurotic need to verbalize via the internet may be a cathartic solution to expressing one’s innermost feelings but once written down they ignite a fury for others to follow motivating people to violence.
Society is evolving rapidly since the court of Louis XIV, with its golden forks and powdered wigs, and unnecessary restrictions on personal freedoms, but what some people consider normal, others consider rude. “Them are fighting words,” which prompted a shootout at the OK Corral. Laws cannot keep up with the rapid technology.
The ancient Romans had their own form of etiquette according to rank. The Greek word “protokollon” or protocol was a written formula for ceremonies, and the Romans and Greeks had a propensity for various military ceremonies.
A handshake is globally accepted as a sign of friendship proving that there are no hidden weapons, and supposedly the Quakers adopted this as an alternative to bowing or tipping one’s hat in an egalitarian way. Eskimos rub noses as a non-erotic form of greeting, and in the USA a fist bump is a gesture used by Black athletes, and the certain way of clasping of hands may have started in secret societies as their own designated hand clasps.
In Japan, you would not think of entering someone’s house with shoes on. Americans can appear to be rude to other cultures because of its multi-ethnic society and blending of different cultures with clashing differences, much like a fruit salad, very colorful and tasty but maybe with too much bitter lemon.
Some African-Americans feel that these manners, etiquette and rules restrict their freedom and so they rebel and strengthen their own culture by speaking Ebonics, inventing Rap music, wearing unusual hair styles, creating their own menus, and now in Hollywood they force their own brand onto a divisive society which causes problems in a country that was developed by the Judeo-Christian rule of law. They resent having to abide by “white man’s rules,” and want them changed to accommodate their newly emerging identity encouraged by civil rights groups.
Being a European Christian, I was brought up with the following rules: to greet friends with warmth and respect, refrain from insults and curiosity, offer hospitality to my guests, wear clothing suited to the occasion, contribute politely to conversations without dominating them, offer a chair to those who need assistance, eat neatly and quietly, avoid disturbing others with loud music, follow the established rules of a school, court, church, club, or other organization, arrive promptly when expected, comfort the bereaved, respond to invitations promptly, meet strangers with decorum according to their rank.
Respect shown to others includes kindness and empathy which makes life simpler, more pleasant and removes the unnecessary misunderstandings which leads to expensive lawsuits or physical fights. Violations of etiquette vary by class and can cause public disgrace. Globalization caused a breakdown in local societal rules, hurt feelings, caused grief and emotional pain, and can even escalate into an uncontrollable rage which can blow family feuds out of proportion, not to mention explosive politics.
This generation’s “me first,” attitude gravitates to “I don’t care about your feelings,” with aggressive robocalls invading people’s privacy and disrupting their work schedule, ignorant telemarketers from different countries, not queueing up at the post office because our Latin temperament makes us impatient, the wearing of religious garments, insulting the national anthem, and other forms of intentional provocation, erodes social decorum. People can’t even behave in a civilized manner on airplanes forcing captains to act by turning planes around.
Good manners separate us from animals in this secular society giving us a moral compass. I feel that etiquette should be a mandatory class in grade school since it is obvious that manners are not being taught at home these days.
Even though religions, economic disparity, political differences, social status, and many foreign cultures do divide us, we need to find a quick solution to making this a better world before we blow ourselves up in a nuclear war. I really like the idea of “Pay it Forward,” do a kindness for someone (“Haz bien y no mires a quien” as the Spanish say. Do good and don’t look at whom.)
When somebody asks how they can repay you, simply respond: “Now you do a kindness for the next person.” And let us circle the globe with civility because manners actually came from the Ten Commandments. And even non-believers are entitled to respect. Do unto others…
Alinka Zyrmont